Raising A Standard in Relationships!

By Jeff Hidden

Johnny knocks on the door of his girlfriend’s house. “Hello Mr. Smith. Can I take your daughter out on a date?”

“Sure Johnny.” Mr. Smith replies and then yells upstairs, “Suzie, Johnny is here. Come on down.”

Next week Johnny comes again. “Hello Mr. Smith. I’m here to pick up Suzie. She ready?”

“Sure, big guy, I’ll get her.” Mr. Smith says with a smile. “Have a great time. Just make sure you have her back by 11:30.” Then he thinks to himself, “What a cute couple.”

Next week, knock . . . knock . . . knock. “Hello Mr. Smith.”

“Hello Sport. How ya doing tonight?” Mr. Smith asks.

“I’m doing great,” Johnny says. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure Son. What can I do for you?”

“Can I borrow your truck?” Johnny inquires.

“What? My truck? What do you want with my truck? I’m afraid not.”

“But why?” Asks Johnny.

“You might scratch it, that’s why. Are you crazy? I would never let a teenager touch my truck, let alone borrow it! That truck costs me a lot of money!” Mr. Smith exclaims.

“OK, Mr. Smith. Calm down…forget the truck. Could you just get Suzie for me? It’s time for me to take her out.”

“Yeah, sure.” Mr. Smith says with a big sigh of relief. “Suzie,” He yells. “Johnny is here to take you out on your date.”

What’s wrong with this picture? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Mr. Smith’s priorities of love are severely warped. Why do we think there is no risk of damage when people get involved in a dating relationship? The fact is, some of the most significant damage a person will ever experience will be a result of a relationship with the opposite sex. The problem? A lack of knowledge and understanding of God’s wisdom.

Most people grew up dating around like the rest of the world. Even though they experienced a lot of pain, they don’t know any other way to pass on to their children. But there is another way. Not only another way, but a much better way.

In I Thessalonians chapter four Paul tells us that God wants us to have holy and pure relationships, “not in lustful passion as the heathen do, in their ignorance of God and his ways.” (TLB)

We have to understand that the heathen (unsaved people in the world) have their way of doing things in every area of life, and God has His way. The reason the world goes about finding a mate the way they do is because they “are ignorant of God and His ways.” However, that’s the same reason why many Christians go about dating the world’s way – they too are ignorant of God’s ways.

When we get born again, we must renew our minds to the ways of God. The more we live according to God’s ways, the more we will experience His benefits. The more we live according to the world’s way of thinking, the more we will experience the consequences of the kingdom of darkness.

The results of dating the world’s way – dating to get to know someone, always having a boyfriend or girlfriend, breaking up when things get tough – are damaging over the long run. Here’s just one result to ponder.

With every dating relationship, you give away a piece of your heart and life.

This is a big source of pain. When you date someone, you spend a lot of time together. You tie your hearts together through extensive thoughts of one another, exchanging intimate words, and engaging in physical contact. Then, when the break-up occurs, the hearts are ripped apart – causing pain.

The common response to a break up is: “I better find someone else right away.” Why? #1. To prove to your ‘ex’ that you don’t need him or her any more. And, #2. You feel the need for someone else to fill the gap created by your heart being previously ripped from another.

On and on it goes: date . . . break-up . . . date . . . break-up. The heart actually kicks in a plan to avoid future hurt. How? It closes itself. Becoming hard and stiff, hindering the ability for true intimacy in future relationships, including marriage.

God’s wisdom says – wait to tie your heart together with the person to whom you will marry. In the meantime, keep things on the friendship level until you do find true, God-ordained love.

How do you go about finding your mate? How does a teenager conduct him or herself in a world where “every one is doing it?” What standards should a parent raise in their home in the area of dating relationships? How can a single person find Mr. or Ms. Right without subscribing to the world’s way of dating?

My “Christina Dating? Raising a Standard!” seminar can help answer those questions and more. I have a heart to help parents see the need to raise a standard in their families, and to help singles of all ages have godly relationships, avoid wrong relationships, and enjoy the journey to possible marriage.